2) Some people know their credit card numbers by heart. I know my library card number. I think that’s cool. Discuss.
3) When I was 3, I fell into a neighbour’s pool. Underwater, I saw a window, with a battle raging on the other side. With cannons. A man, who I later realized was a Viking, came to the window and told me I couldn’t come through. At that moment, my uncle grabbed me and pulled me out of the pool. I have no affinity for Vikings. True story.
4) I like to Statler and Waldorf my way through life – overheard conversations, Oscar awards, commercials featuring wide-eyed puppies – all are heckling fodder.
7) The plan when I grew up was to live in a penthouse apt. in NY with my pet black panther Sebastian, and throw glittering salons filled with fabulous creative types. I’m currently writing this in my basement office in Canada, with one foot thrown over a portable heater because I’m freezing. No view. No glitter. Not sure how the plan went so horribly wrong. Granted, it wasn’t much of a plan. I do have a black cat though.
8) Jerricho Barrons is my book boyfriend. Ladies, you know what I’m talking about.
9) Being married to me/birthed from my body gives me rights in perpetuity to use you for comic creative license. This seems fair to me.
10) I believe the world needs more choreography. Just saying.
11) Archer is one of my favorite TV shows of all time. It’s an inappropriateness I can totally get behind.
